If you’re a guy, you’re wondering how you could possibly figure out how to design the perfect engagement ring.

The easiest way to pick the right ring is to have your girlfriend go with you. It’s pretty common nowadays to see couples shopping for engagement rings together. Bringing your girlfriend along has some advantages but it has one big disadvantage.

The advantages are that she can see all of the options, let you know which ones she likes, find the right size and you can discuss her choices with her. The main disadvantage is that you won’t have the element of surprise. Another possible disadvantage is that when the jeweler sees your girlfriend with you, he may try to give you a hard sell.

If the element of surprise is important to you, you have a few choices. Take a look at the rings she owns and wears. (This will also help you find out her ring size. Take one she wears on her ring finger to a jeweler if you’re not sure.)

If you have given her a ring in the past as a gift, how did she react to it? More importantly, does she wear it? If she says she loved it, but never wears it, odds are that she doesn’t like it.

If you are on good terms with her family or friends, you can ask them for help in choosing a ring. Make sure they can keep a secret though! If you feel comfortable, you might bring her sister or best friend with you when you go shopping for the ring.